(Ottawa, Ontario) Canadian environmental groups, upset with the regressive
environmental policies of Canada's new conservative government, have started
a public awareness campaign to remind Canadians of the threats global warming
pose to Canada.
With rising temperatures overspreading Canada, the ubiquitous maple tree,
a symbol of Canadian identity, is rapidly giving way to more subtropical
and tropical species of trees. Reports of sprouting oak seedlings are
pouring in from all over Canada this spring, and botanists fear they
will choke out native species of tree like the sugar maple within just a few years.
"What we are seeing so far this spring is astounding", said Julia Clooney,
Greenpolice-Canada spokeswoman. "We are even hearing of palm trees sprouting
in the warmer portions of Canada, especially in the Toronto area."
Such widespread evidence of rapidly warming Canadian weather has led to public
service ads on CBC-TV in selected metro areas. The ads feature a futuristic
hockey game where players on Sea-Doos are seen chasing a floating hockey puck
around an oval pond, while swimsuit-clad spectators watch from beach chairs.
The voiceover in the ad intones, "Ice hockey, a Canadian tradition, gone forever…what
will YOU do to stop global warming?"
EcoEnquirer has been unable to confirm rumors that the new conservative government
in Ottawa has already started internal discussions to change the Canadian flag.
"We hear that the new leadership is already trying to prepare Canadians for a
warmer world by erasing all reminders of our current way of life, things that
unite us as Canadians - cars that won't start at 30 below, the yearly mystery
of whether summer will occur in July or August", claimed Ms. Clooney. "One
morning we will wake up, and all of our traditions will be gone. It is time
for our citizens to stand up and admit, 'We like it cold!'".
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