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Breaking News: Tenth Bali Global Warming Conference Ends with Historic Agreement

The Toronto Palm Fronds?

As invasive species of warm-climate trees sprout up all over Canada this spring, Canadians are reminded by TV ads to fight global warming.

(Ottawa, Ontario) Canadian environmental groups, upset with the regressive environmental policies of Canada's new conservative government, have started a public awareness campaign to remind Canadians of the threats global warming pose to Canada.

With rising temperatures overspreading Canada, the ubiquitous maple tree, a symbol of Canadian identity, is rapidly giving way to more subtropical and tropical species of trees. Reports of sprouting oak seedlings are pouring in from all over Canada this spring, and botanists fear they will choke out native species of tree like the sugar maple within just a few years.

"What we are seeing so far this spring is astounding", said Julia Clooney, Greenpolice-Canada spokeswoman. "We are even hearing of palm trees sprouting in the warmer portions of Canada, especially in the Toronto area."

Such widespread evidence of rapidly warming Canadian weather has led to public service ads on CBC-TV in selected metro areas. The ads feature a futuristic hockey game where players on Sea-Doos are seen chasing a floating hockey puck around an oval pond, while swimsuit-clad spectators watch from beach chairs. The voiceover in the ad intones, "Ice hockey, a Canadian tradition, gone forever…what will YOU do to stop global warming?"

EcoEnquirer has been unable to confirm rumors that the new conservative government in Ottawa has already started internal discussions to change the Canadian flag. "We hear that the new leadership is already trying to prepare Canadians for a warmer world by erasing all reminders of our current way of life, things that unite us as Canadians - cars that won't start at 30 below, the yearly mystery of whether summer will occur in July or August", claimed Ms. Clooney. "One morning we will wake up, and all of our traditions will be gone. It is time for our citizens to stand up and admit, 'We like it cold!'".

Breaking News: Tenth Bali Global Warming Conference Ends with Historic Agreement

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