2006 Hurricane Season Forecast:
Expect Cat 5 Reporting

(New York City) With the stormy 2005 hurricane season still fresh on people's minds, and dark clouds of fear gathering all along America's hurricane-prone coastlines as the 2006 hurricane season arrives, the disaster devouring media are anxiously awaiting their next chance to further hone their expository literary and oratorical skills, disclosing the imminent devastation that will rain down upon the victims of governmental ineptitude.

Even as an undercurrent of dread pours through the hearts and minds of last years victims of Mother Nature's vicious onslaught of atmospheric savagery, the unspoken question remains: will the ill winds of fate spare them this year? The furious violence of those wet and wild ladies - Katrina, Rita - continues to make menacing memories every time the skies threaten anew.

Meanwhile, in the weather community, the winds of uncertainty are swirling as hurricane experts continue to argue over the role that man-made global warming might have had in last year's record-busting torrent of tropical twisters.

The first roaring tempest of the torrid tropical season will be Alberto. Upon its formation, a deluge of blustery, raging news stories will be flowing out of the turbulent newsrooms which are scattered across the land like so many house trailers left in the path of an F5 tornado.

In the eye of the media storm will be those sage reporters (Cooper, Smith, Rivera) stiffening themselves against the angry winds to make sure we are sufficiently alarmed with anxiety-stricken apprehension. (After all, a category 5 hurricane needs a dash of drama to be made interesting.)

Fortunately, ecoEnquirer will be here, fair, balanced, and unafraid to bring you just the facts, without the ferocious hype and frightful fear-mongering that has flooded the news business with intense, blow-by-blow amplified rants brimming with misguided metaphors, anal analogizing, and exaggerated exposition. So stay tuned.

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